How can I punish my wife for her awful gift?
5th November 2008
My wife has just this moment handed me a set of paint brushes for my birthday. I have never indicated to her that I have any interest or desire in DIY or decorating, and no one(to my knowledge) has ever advised her of this either. I am trying to devise a suitable punishment. I have thrown a whisper to the servants to make ice cubes out of urine, to plop into her gin and tonics, also have her sequestered to the east wing for an entire week. Any ideas?
I think a good spanking is in order
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September 17th, 2008 at 8:46 am
you should introduce your mistress to her parents.
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September 17th, 2008 at 8:46 am
Force her to read the terrible questions you come up with.
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September 17th, 2008 at 8:46 am
why punish?
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September 17th, 2008 at 8:47 am
Where have you been??? I’ve missed your posts!
I think the urine ice cubes are a little bit over the top. Send her to the east wing for the week. But, who will make your pastries during that time?
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September 17th, 2008 at 8:47 am
Your house needs painting. If you don’t want to do it, hire someone to do it.
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September 17th, 2008 at 8:47 am
That’s weird are you serious?
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September 17th, 2008 at 8:47 am
Well I think that your idea of introducing your mistress to her parents as you suggested earlier is punishment enough!!!
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September 17th, 2008 at 8:47 am
LOL
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September 17th, 2008 at 8:47 am
If you wish..I would be willing to come over and “boink” her for you!
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September 17th, 2008 at 8:47 am
paint funny things on her when shes asleep. then get a divorce cause ur an idiot
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September 17th, 2008 at 8:48 am
you shouldnt punish her if she gave that gift she had a reason maybe u should talk to her about it and find out why beofre u do anything like that
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September 17th, 2008 at 8:49 am
Invite YOUR mother to the estate for a lengthy visit.
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September 17th, 2008 at 8:49 am
HER PUNISHMENT IS THAT SHE IS MARRIED TO YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!
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September 17th, 2008 at 8:50 am
The best punishment you can give her is to stay married to her, she deserves far better than you. You are disgusting, a bad gift and so you would give her urine in an ice cube.
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September 17th, 2008 at 8:53 am
get the kids out of the house for the evening.
cook a lovely meal for just the two of you.
make her sit in the dinner room as you fix her plate.
before you bring it out, fart directly into her food.
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September 17th, 2008 at 8:53 am
You need to get the Thrash-o-Matic working again! The woman is out of control and somebody or something needs to beat her back into line
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September 17th, 2008 at 8:54 am
its the thoguht of the gift that ocunts. maybe next year she should get you a new pillow made of straw and horse poop.
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September 17th, 2008 at 8:54 am
Just tell her about your mistress
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September 17th, 2008 at 8:56 am
She is thinking of good cause and u r thinking of worst and nasty things first of all stop these ideas and beg her pardon for having posted this
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September 17th, 2008 at 9:01 am
Oh, I remember you from yesterday. Yea, well, fire your old housekeeper and make her serve you instead. That will be a punishment beyond horrible.
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September 17th, 2008 at 9:21 am
I’m afraid the urine ice cubes wont have any effect on her .. The gin will dilute the taste. if you really want to punish her then rather banish her to the eats wing, make her spend the night chained to the four poster but with no clothes on while you lay in the lap of luxury sipping your pimms and smoking your cigar. You could whip her with a belt and then rub salt in her wounds until she screams in pain.. but may be that just a wee bit to harsh for her misdeed.. The paint brushes could come in handy , you could get the servants to use them while you relax with son advising him on how to be a great Blighter Bounder Cad just like his dad.
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September 17th, 2008 at 10:21 am
I think a good spanking is in order
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September 17th, 2008 at 10:24 am
Get the servants to plaster her to a wall and then wallpaper over her. A well thought out and appropriate punishment ensures the lesson doesn’t go unlearn-ed
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September 17th, 2008 at 11:22 am
Please be very careful with those ice cubes while having your own drink.
And tell her to get in the kitchen and bake you a cake.
Happy Birthday
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September 18th, 2008 at 6:18 am
paint brushes you say…she may be trying to tell you something…do you have some body chocolate?
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September 18th, 2008 at 8:23 am
I couldn’t help but notice as I drove by your estate last week that the gravel in your driveway was looking rather shabby old boy, maybe after your wife finishes polishing it she could give it all a lick of paint with your unwanted gift. That should teach the wretched women a lesson in gift etiquette I think. Tip top.
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September 18th, 2008 at 8:38 am
Howdy ho!
Simple, sire……
Just make your wife, the undeserving wench that she be, paint the halls from top to bottom with the smallest brush in your collection. Give her only a week to have the whole manor ‘done up’, whereby you then put her on the rack for being so lazy and incompetent for not completing such a ’simple’ task for her precious husband…..
PS: If the rack is now an under-rated punishment, why not give that thrash-o-matic another go……?
Toodle pip
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